"When men get angry, they're taken seriously. It's assumed that they have a reason to be so upset. But it seems that whenever women have the gall to express anything other than effusive chipperness, we're accused of having PMS or being nuts. Or we're laughed at or mocked ("Calm down, little lady!").
Women, it seems, aren't allowed to be just plain pissed off.
I think that a lot of this comes form the idea that women are supposed to be "femine" and docile-anger doesn't fit into the sexist ideal of women as quiet and forever smiling. (Stepford Wives, anyone?) That why you'll often hear feminists being accused of being angry right along with being called "manly." It's a way to stifle women's anger and, by proxy, our voices.
When you think about it, it makes sense that society-especially men- would want to keep women's anger under wraps. Because-let's face it- we have a lot of stuff to be upset about! Living in a sexist world is no walk in the fucking park. But what better way to ignore sexism than to make women quiet down? If a women is too nervous about being called neurotic to get angry about things in her own life, how can she speak about about injustices in the world at large? I can't tell you how many times someone has asked me-when they hear that I'm a feminist- why I'n so angry. Or told me to lighten up.
If we complain, we're being rude or obnoxious. If we're angry, there must be something wrong with us.
...
When women are shown as mad or angry, we become caricatures. The pissed-off, man-hating feminist. The neurotic girlfriend. And, of course, nothing says stereotype like the classic racist/sexist combo of the angry black woman. Black women are constantly portrayed in the media and elsewhere as perpetually pissy, usually for the comedic effect. 'Cause women' anger is funny.
So... what to do?
Be as pissed off as you want to be. Don't hold back because you think it's unladylike or some such nonsense. We shouldn't be ashamed out of our anger. We should be using it. Using it to make change in our own lives, and using it to make change in the lives around us (I know, I'm cheesy). So the next time someone calls you emotional, or asks if you're PMSing, call them on their bullshit."
--Jessica Valenti; He's a Stud, She's a Slut and 49 Other Double Standards Every Women Should Know.
